If you have raised older teenage kids, your experience will come in handy here..Pls advise!

Dear Coach Yinka,

I have a nineteen year old teenage/semi adult daughter who is in her second year in the university.

My daughter has always being an exemplary child in academics, morale and all ramifications! However she called me last night and dropped a bombshell, am still nuts, confused and short of words as to how to respond! Pls help me.

Here is what my daughter had to say. There is a coursemate of hers who has being asking her out since 100 level, but being the obedient child that she is, she didn’t oblige to his request simply because of the promise she had made to me to stay away from boys in the university.

Now my daughter feels she is nineteen years going on twenty and she is matured and ready to go into the dating world and wants to say yes to the dating request of this course mate of hers.
My belly has being churning since last night when u received her phone call, I just told her to let me sleep over it and would get back to her in the morning!

A part of me feels like she is 20 and its OK for her to actually start dating, another part of me is terrified of the downside of dating, what if they venture into sex? What if she gets pregnant? Am so terrified! She is my only daughter and a Sickle cell carrier as well. Pls help out, how do I tackle this matter?

3 Thoughts to “On raising Teenagers and young Adults”

  1. Nafisat

    m very sure d part of u dat tot abt d sex part of dating is strong. d best thing is to call her into order and explain ur reasons

  2. Oluwatoyin Lawrence

    Be her friend and let her be free enough to share any secret with you.Encourage her to bring the guy home. Access the guy from a biblical point. Get along with the two of them and advise them whenever they need your advice. May God be with you.

  3. She is a teenager and asking her not to go ahead with it would cause a distance between you two.
    If you’re a Muslim, I’d say you remind her that dating is forbidden and she beware of her Lord’s boundaries and commands.
    If you are not Muslim, then invite him over and observe him, ask questions about him and then discuss the matter with both of them. You’re not stopping them, but just talking about it based on your experience and your fears as a mother. It’s best they wait when they are ready for marriage. That’s what is ideal. I am a Muslim and can’t tell you to let them go ahead with it.
    Talk to then about your fears and advice them to wait till they are ready for marriage

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